today is one of those days.
I have so much on my mind. I have written this paragraph and deleted it at least 3 times. where do I begin? how can I effectively convey ideas that I have never put into words, and ask questions without having answers?
time. time feels like a paradox today. I feel like I am six, seventeen, and thirty all at the same time. I’m struck by visions of what my future could be like, I’m struck with reasons about why my life is the way it is now, and I am reminded of who I am by who I was in my past.
there’s so much flying through my mind, it’s like the normal speed of my train of thought just tripled. who am I? who am I becoming? and is this person that I’m becoming the person I want to become? how much control do we have over who we are and who we become, and how much of that is left up to the people we are surrounded by and the events that occur?
all of these questions, with no answers.
I’m just like you, an average seventeen year old girl with big ideas, but facing a world that demands that I leave my high expectations of myself in the dust.
I’ll find the answers.