I learn that friendship happens offline

I haven’t been posting very much lately. I’d like to say I’m sorry about that, and I am a little, but I’m mostly not. I’m thinking just as much as ever, living just as much as ever, but differently. More quietly.

I’ve been online a lot less because I’ve been spending time with people a lot more. We have adventures, laugh hard, play cards, have “sharing circles” late into the night. And I love them for what happens off the screen, who they are behind the closed doors of their hearts. They are souls, wrapped in stories, tied with string. They are living and breathing, more than a profile picture, more than a quote or comment on a status. There is more to them than what you can see on a screen.

Friendships don’t grow when you sit next to each other in front of your laptops. You don’t learn to make eye contact when you’re looking down at your iPhone. And you’re doing something wrong if you feel like you have to update your Facebook status or post a picture every time you hang out to prove to the world that you have friends.

If they’re really your friends, you shouldn’t feel like you have to prove something.

Why do we do this? Why do we attempt to fit our 3-dimensional, incredible relationships onto a 2-dimensional screen? Why do we feel as though our only worth is determined by the impact we have online? Life is so much more than what we can fit into an 140-character tweet or a caption on an Instagram photo.

I’ve been feeling guilty as I check my blog and look at the number of weeks it’s been (yes, weeks) since the last time I posted. And then I wonder, why in the world do I feel guilty? Do I really think I’m a failure as a writer if I don’t blog more often?

It’s hard to find time in college. It’s hard to write for fun when you’ve been writing papers all day and you don’t want to look at another Word document ever again. And it’s hard to say yes to writing when you want to say yes yes yes! to other things, spending time with people you care about, taking the time to be present and sink into your real, offline life.

Abby P is so funny she makes me cry, and one of the nicest people you will ever meet. Austin is snarky but secretly really kind, and wonderfully strange. Abby F is clever with a little bit of sass, and can break it down on the dance floor with the best of them. Logan is sarcastic, thoughtful, and will stick with you until the end.

And the best thing about these people and what I know about them is that I didn’t learn any of it from a computer screen or a Facebook page. I learned it from their hearts.


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