Your heart is not your enemy.


My greatest enemy is not a weapon I was born with.

The church culture that condemns society and its methods of connection and tells us to live a better way, is also the same church culture stripping us of our ability to do so.

I read an article today, like many out in the blogosphere, about how we should be dating differently. The world tells us we should be getting in each others’ pants pretty quickly, physical love before emotional connection, the tangible over the spiritual. Christian articles tell me that this is bad, and I agree. It’s the wrong order. The emotional and spiritual should come first as the largest priority.

But from there, the messages get ambiguous and I’m left thinking do you even get what you’re saying? We’re told we shouldn’t settle for someone who isn’t doing it right, even though the one in the temporary will make us happy. We should wait for the one in the long term, even though we’re going to have to fight our nature to do it. And I think this is wrong.

Not a single bone in my body has ever found the world’s system of connection appealing. It looks heartbreaking, and lonely, and lots of people walk away feeling disenchanted. And I think to tell us that what we’re craving will end up like that is a lie. Teaching us to ignore our gut instinct is such a dangerous thing to teach people. Because it wasn’t until I learned to go with my instincts that I really found people that were worth loving. To get to that point, I had to go through years of un-learning the message that my spiritual culture taught me: I can’t trust myself.

This argument is typically founded on the belief that we are born inherently sinful, and I think that’s true. We are born with the curse of humanity, the illness that sentences us to eventual death. However, this illness is cured by the love and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, leaving us free from our inherent sin nature. We are no longer bound by the flesh, which means our thoughts and feelings are no longer tied to our sin nature. If the Holy Spirit lives in us, working as a “conscience”, how is that any different from our gut instincts? I have often found that my instincts align with Scripture.

Ignoring our inherent conscience that was designed by the One who made us has not given us a benefit that is worth the self-trust we lose by burying it.

If you’re like me, and you’ve stopped listening to yourself: your feelings matter. You’re never going to understand yourself until you start listening. And even if your instincts aren’t 100% accurate, it’s still important to know why you feel the way you do.

Put your head and your heart together, and make love a team effort.


8 thoughts on “Your heart is not your enemy.

  1. It took me so so long to unlearn this and relearn how to trust myself. But it’s probably the best thing i’ve ever done – our true self can guide us so well if we let it. Once again, well done friend.

  2. this is something that my sister shared with me a few years back. she made a decision that she really came to regret and when it was all said and done, she boiled the experience into one phrase. she said “trust your gut. always trust your gut”. I still consider her to be a lot more intuitive than I am; and I still feel that her gut is more accurate than mine, but i have to say that the times i have followed my intuition, things have always worked out someway somehow. it’s kind of wild

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